It has been some time since I wrote. I am still supporting students, faculty, and staff at the University of Toronto Scarborough and preparing to embark on a new adventure as an ADHD Life Coach. This entry is part of my graduation requirements for my program through the International ADHD Coach Training Center (iACTcenter).
I thought it fitting (pun intended) to talk about my first naming of my ADHD with a story about a t-shirt.
Christmas gift, circa 2013 |
This t-shirt was given to me in 2013 by my partner, who was taking a course on Psychodiagnostics as part of her studies. As she read about the characteristics of someone who had ADHD, she thought of me and the primarily hyperactive-impulsive traits I possessed. At the time of the gifting, I thought it was funny that I "owned" this trait and proudly wore it. But there is more to the story than being driven.
The inattentive subtype of ADHD is also something I am quite familiar with and so are so many other people in my life. For those of you who may be new to my blogging, I am a former public school teacher. I distinctly remember a student who had the inattentive subtype of ADHD who often would daydream, be distracted from their school work, and often disengaged in class. At the time, I did not have a very complex and nuanced reading and understanding of ADHD. At that time, inattention was connected to school-related challenges. I wasn't ready to conceptualize how my inattentiveness affected the people closest to me.
Like the student in my classroom, my ability to self-monitor and have the flexibility to change strategies really impacted my ability to stop and think and be present with my family. I am not suggesting that there aren't other areas I struggle with, but I never really thought about how they could impact my relationships with my family.
According to a 2024 February 5 CADDAC Instagram post, ADHD can be a significant factor in a variety of relationship problems...."For a lot of my adult life, I only understood my ADHD as something that was solely about having challenges with organization, starting and completing tasks, or becoming hyper-fixated on particular tasks or hobbies, and often working myself to exhaustion. Now, I can see how some of my inattentive ADHD behaviors prevented me from being able to self-monitor, reflect, and understand some of my behaviours in my relationships with my family.
This entry is not about beating myself up. It is about feeling a lot clearer and comfortable sharing some of the lessons learned from living with the combined type of ADHD. I am not suggesting that I am a perfect partner or parent. I still need to self-monitor and remind myself to be flexible and open. Knowing these are areas I have had challenges with makes it easier to keep them in check in a manner that is both supportive and accountable. I know I will always be driven by a motor, but more optimistic that it will not burn out. My family members appreciate the more reflective, attentive, and responsive me, and I do too.🌻
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